Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Your Christmas Punk Rock Playlist

With Christmas only a few weeks away, there seems to be no escaping the same old recycled tunes about everything from reindeer taking out your grandmother to that creepy fat guy that sneaks into house and eats your cookies. Needless to say, it can get old. So where do you turn when you need some decent punk music for the holidays? Well, look no further than the following playlist to get your season kicked off in style (complete with skinny jeans and a beanie).

In typical NFG form, "Ex' Miss" is a song about girls and heartbreak. So what sets it apart? Well, the chorus is holiday themed. "This holiday is overrated" exclaims lead singer Jordan Pundik. And honestly, he's right. On top of sarcastic Christmas lyrics, you might even hear Jingle Bells
being played on an electric guitar. Hell, that's sweeter than eggnog.

This quick little tune should be the anthem for anyone who has spent a Christmas alone (and that sucks). The lyrics are as cold as an icicle, wrestling with concepts of love lost, loneliness and everything else emo that could fit into a holiday song. On the good side, "Icicles" has enough snare drum and palm mutes to keep even the saddest of you audiophiles happy.

If you've ever been to a Christmas church service, you've probably had to sing this song (though there was no way it was this cool). Bayside just released this track for the 2010 holiday, and it's about as upbeat as this playlist gets. You'd never think four punks complete with neck and knuckle tattoos could make the story of Jesus' birth sound so badass. A guaranteed hit at any holiday get together this year.

A little crazy, a bit self-centered and a pinch of holiday humor are the ingredients that make this Matches tune perfect to bump when you've got an attitude at the Christmas Eve family party. As lead singer Shawn Harris states, December isn't actually celebrating anything, but rather about getting high on art supplies, ordering take-out and just plain being great.

The title alone, ripped from the famous line in A Christmas Story, should tell you all you need to know about this FOB B-Side. It's as misogynistic as anything from their discography, catchy as a baseball glove and as anti-Christmas as any song on this list. Plus we love the clever play on words. Yule/You'll. Get it? Genius.

Lactation, ugly sweaters and Danny Bonaduce make up this YouTube sensation from Fred Mascherino-era TBS. Mascherino, along with lead singer Adam Lazzara, sing what's probably the funniest tune on this list. A spoof on everyone's favorite "12 Days," this animated rendition will have you laughing 'til Christmas morning.


Okay, this might actually be tied for funniest song on the list. This track is packed with that signature blink humor (ie - "And even though the jail didn't have a tree, Christmas came a night early 'cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package"). What's even better though, is that the music rocks. Palm muted guitar riffs, drum rolls and a bass solo - you've got the best of blink here.

It's a sad song, people. It's slow, it's lonely, it's Something Corporate. If you've ever been dumped around the holidays, this is your ballad for a broken heart. By throwing a bit of piano into the standard mix of guitar, bass and drums, SC found a way to tug at your inner emo kid with "Forget December." Throw this tune on and you're bound to reminisce about lost love.

You want a punk-rock Christmas? MxPx have got it for you, wrapped up with a pretty pink bow and sitting under your tree. What's more punk than killing zombies on Christmas? It's way more badass than spending the day with your family. This short, two-minute and twenty-two-second tune is loaded with three-finger power chords, gang vocals and grotesque lyrics about slaying zombies on the holiest of all days. Respect it, kids.

Christmas is all about traditions, right? Well, in that case you need one of those classic songs to round out your holiday playlist. And what better than a crunchy, early-2000s era punk version to get the job done. It's fun, it's fast, it's lively and you already know all the words. Perfect!

And there you have it, kids. When the holidays get you down, just hit the play button and get back into the spirit. Merry Christmas.

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